Mom Writes First

14. 🛑 Does Anxiety Stop You From Writing? A Story to Help 🛑

February 08, 2024 Jen
Mom Writes First
14. 🛑 Does Anxiety Stop You From Writing? A Story to Help 🛑
Show Notes Transcript

Does Anxiety Stop You From Writing? 

Overcoming Anxiety and Embracing Impermanence: A Story for Mama Writers

In this episode of 'Mom Writes First', host Jen aims to help anxious 'mama writers' who struggle to find time and peace to write. She shares a personal story about how understanding the concept of impermanence eased her anxiety. Drawing an analogy with a Thai meditation master's broken goblet story, Jen emphasizes that everything is temporary. She encourages her listeners to embrace this impermanence, not just with objects but also with their writing, children, self, and life experiences. This acceptance, she believes, can relieve them from the burden of perfection and help appreciate the present moment. It can also shift the perspective of their writing frustrations, enabling them to see their work through a lens of unconditional love and appreciation.

00:00 Introduction: Addressing Anxiety in Writing
01:41 Personal Struggles with Anxiety
03:21 The Broken Goblet: A Story of Impermanence
05:22 Applying the Lesson of Impermanence to Life
06:49 Impermanence and Writing: Overcoming Perfectionism
08:21 Conclusion: Embracing Impermanence in Writing and Life
08:52 Outro: Encouragement for the Writing Journey

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14: Does Anxiety Stop You from Writing? A Story to Help. 


[00:00:00] Jen: 

[00:00:02] Today's episode is for all the mama writers out there who are feeling overwhelmed or anxious about being able to write. Who are experiencing. Any kind of frustration or anxiety overall in their life. I hope that this story that I'm about to share with you resonates and brings you peace. 

[00:00:22] Hi, I'm Jen. I'm the host of mom writes first, the podcast that helps moms write every single day. 

[00:00:28] Welcome to today's episode of mom rights first. I am so grateful to be here today, to share with you a really lovely story that helps keep me centered and grounded. And focused on what matters most in my life. Even when things are hard. Even when the words just won't flow. 

[00:00:54] When my writing isn't happening, when life is getting in the way. When the [00:01:00] kids are sick, when everything is breaking, when work is really frustrating. Whatever is happening. This story helps me to stay present. In the moment. Grounded. Centered. It helps me to feel grateful. And empowered. And it helps me to take action. And doing the things that matter the most to me, It helps me to make time and space for writing while still being the kind of mom, sister, employee. Everything else that I want to be. 

[00:01:41] This story is all about what is temporary in our life. I heard it for the first time. About 10 years ago after my third child was born. I heard this story at a time of great anxiety for myself. I had had my third baby. I [00:02:00] was working full time in a busy litigation practice. There had been a number of events nationally, locally. Personally. Which had reminded me of just how fragile. Our lives are. How fragile our very existence is. My anxiety was running particularly high. And I wasn't able to enjoy or be present with my kids because I was just so anxious. I wasn't showing up anywhere, the way that I really wanted to.

[00:02:34] And now today when that feeling of anxiety starts to settle in. It can be really disruptive to. The things that I love to do, like write. 

[00:02:45] Back in the day when I didn't realize how I could best deal with those feelings of anxiousness. It seemed like I had no control over anything. And so I would [00:03:00] distract myself with whatever would feel like I could have control over whether it was TV or food or cleaning or exercising. Arguing with my husband even. 

[00:03:11] All so that I wouldn't have to feel. That anxiousness that was creeping into my brain and body. 

[00:03:18] Can you relate to this in any way? It was during this time that I came across a story about a broken goblet. It's a story that reminds us that life is uncertain. And that everything is impermanent. That everything is in constant flux. And that yet we can nonetheless enjoy and hold gratitude for what is there in the present moment. 

[00:03:43] Before I heard it, I would have thought that a story about how impermanent everything is, would actually make me feel more anxious. But it didn't, it had the opposite effect. It brought me a great deal of peace. And to this day. It [00:04:00] helps me to stay. In a place where I can appreciate the present moment for all that it is. All that it is when it's frustrating. 

[00:04:09] All that it is when it's hard. All that it is when it doesn't feel like a blessing. All that it is when it's joyful. All that it is when it's happy. When it's easy, when it's flowing. 

[00:04:22] I hope it does the same for you. 

[00:04:24] This is a story from Akkon Cha who was a Thai meditation master. In the story, he holds up a beautiful goblet. He turns it in his hand and he says to his followers, Do you see this goblet? For me. It is already broken. I enjoy it. I drink out of it. 

[00:04:48] It holds my water. Sometimes it even reflects the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it. It has a lovely ring to it. [00:05:00] But when I put this glass on the shelf, And the wind knocks it over. Or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and it shatters. 

[00:05:11] I say. Of course. When I understand that the glass is already broken. Every moment with it is precious. 

[00:05:22] I am not sure who I heard this story from, but I distinctly remember standing in my kitchen and looking across the house to the living room. When I heard it and my eyes settled on a beautiful blue vase sitting on the mantle above my fireplace. And ever since then. When ever I see that face, I am reminded. That it could break. 

[00:05:49] That it may already be broken. 

[00:05:52] And it helps me to appreciate it for what it is right now. 

[00:05:56] This is not just about a vase or a goblet. [00:06:00] This is about everything around us. The objects our children our projects at work. Our homes ourselves, our writing. When you accept that whatever you are, beholding is already broken and you accept its impermanence. Then you relieve yourself of the suffering that can come from being overly attached to an object, a person, a job, a home. Our children at their current stage of development or at their current age.

[00:06:33] It also relieves us of the burden of trying to make every moment. 

[00:06:39] Just perfect. Because it's all temporary. There is so much peace to be found in this teaching. 

[00:06:49] So, how does this apply to writing? 

[00:06:52] I work with clients all the time. Who are holding themselves back. Getting in their own way. From [00:07:00] writing. Whether it's because they have writer's block, whether it's because they're feeling anxious. Whether it is because they want everything to be just perfect. Whether it's because they don't believe in themselves. 

[00:07:13] And as much as I validate. The feelings that they have at that moment. What I also want them to know. Is that that is all temporary. 

[00:07:24] The opportunity to write. 

[00:07:26] Their writing. Their work. Their manuscript. Their opportunity to write. Their time on this earth. It is all absolutely temporary. 

[00:07:43] And when we remind ourselves of that, We don't have to be focused on whether it's just the perfect word or whether other people will like what we're doing. We can just appreciate what we're doing in that moment. We can enjoy [00:08:00] what we are doing through a lens of unconditional love. We can appreciate. That time that we're spending, writing just. As the meditation master appreciates the goblet in his hand. Accepting that one day it may break and appreciating it nonetheless, in that moment. 

[00:08:21] My dear friends, wherever you are on your journey. 

[00:08:24] As a writer, may you soak up this day the season of life, the joys and the sorrows . I was. The pleasantries and the frustrations. 

[00:08:35] May you make time in space to write. 

[00:08:38] And may you find peace in the knowledge that it is all temporary? And may you truly love and appreciate this life for all that it is its impermanence and its imperfections. 

[00:08:52] That is the episode for today. If it resonates with you, please hop over to mom writes first on Instagram and give me a [00:09:00] holler. 

[00:09:01] Until then if no one has told you today, Please remember that you are a resourceful. Creative whole human being. You are beautiful and powerful. 

[00:09:13] The world deserves. To experience your writing. Keep on writing. I will see you next time. 

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