Mom Writes First
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Mom Writes First
33. Keep Writing Even When You Are Stressed and Anxious with this 4-Step Process
Keep Writing Even When You Are Stressed and Anxious
Hey, writer! Stress or anxiety have you hitting pause on your writing? Does the chaos around you make you feel like you have no energy to write? We've all been there. When things get rough, you can still write. Learn 4 steps to manage the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty, so that you write more, not less. Jen will teach you how to navigate challenging times to maintain and even grow your writing practice. She uses a concept called VUCA--which stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity--to show you how to write more, not less. No matter what the world throws at you. Together, we've got this. Now, let's write! I
00:00 Introduction and Personal Struggles
00:43 Setting the Stage: Anxiety and Uncertainty
02:32 Understanding VUCA
04:42 Managing Anxiety and Stress
06:53 Actionable Steps to Keep Writing
14:31 Transforming VUCA into Creative Fuel
20:43 Conclusion and Encouragement
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Keep Writing Even When You Are Stressed and Anxious
[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Introduction and Personal Struggles
[00:00:00] Hey writer, how are you doing? I have been feeling. A little bit anxious, uncertain and stressed lately. And my writing has felt very stuck as a result. Today, I am sharing with you the path I use for myself and my clients to help keep us writing. Even during times of volatility, stress and uncertainty.
[00:00:24] You are listening to mom writes first where we're all about inspiring busy moms to make their writing dreams a reality. Let's go.
[00:00:35] Hello writer and welcome to mom rights first.
[00:00:39] I'm your host, Jen. This episode is for you.
[00:00:43] Setting the Stage: Anxiety and Uncertainty
[00:00:43] If you have ever found yourself. Too anxious to write.
[00:00:48] Let's set the stage here, a little challis
[00:00:50] for me. And maybe for you the last couple of weeks have been filled with a lot of uncertainty, maybe some anxiety, maybe a consistent or [00:01:00] constant bit of stress.
[00:01:01] That's kind of. Coursing through your veins. And all that is happening as we get ready for the holidays. And the end of year and the new year that's coming in 2025.
[00:01:13] What I'm noticing is that for me and for many of the people around me, as we move into this time of year, I'm finding that there is sort of like a low level hum of anxiety and concern, the sort of. Permeating or percolating in the background.
[00:01:28] When this happens as it does from time to time in our beautiful human experience. It can be particularly difficult. To keep doing the things that we love, like writing. And that's why today. I want to give you this episode where I share with you, just how I coach myself and how I work with my clients so that they can continue to write. Even during those times when they're feeling anxious, stressed, or uncertain.
[00:01:57] So if you are feeling like you're in a [00:02:00] time of uncertainty and that this is creating a lot of stress or anxiety from you. I want you to know first. I see you. I feel you. I know what it is like to feel like that. You are not alone.
[00:02:13] Even when it feels like you might be. You are not alone.
[00:02:18] Now is the time to keep writing. I know it doesn't feel like that is necessarily true. But putting off or giving up on your writing is the wrong move. Always.
[00:02:32] Understanding VUCA
[00:02:32] There is a term. Often used in the corporate or managerial world called VUCA. And that is a term V U C a VUCA. That is used to describe a world that is particularly chaotic. VUCA is an acronym and it stands for volatility. Uncertainty. Complexity and ambiguity.
[00:02:52] When I sit here today at my computer and I look around at me and I think about what the future holds. I know [00:03:00] to me, these four words, volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity really resonate. They seem like an accurate way. To describe what I'm feeling and what I am seeing around me.
[00:03:12] And to be fully honest and transparent with you. Beautiful listener. I think. That this idea of VUCA. Is really particularly apt for describing what it has been like to be a parent. A woman. Uh, mother a professional. Over the course of, at least the last eight years. And certainly since 2020 in the pandemic. Even with the waning of the pandemic and the lifting of the various restrictions. And being able to buy household staples, like toilet, paper and flour again, and moving beyond the daycare and school closures.Other developments in our world, continue to demonstrate that we are in a time of VOCA.
[00:03:57] Think about it. For example, the development [00:04:00] release and the rise of AI in our lives over the course of just a few years And particularly what it may mean for those who are in the writing and publishing worlds right now. For authors and illustrators and artists for creators like you and me. There is so much VUCA happening right now. And then of course, think of the political and cultural developments that are currently underway. Truly throughout the world, but particularly in the United States. Again, so much VUCA. So the fact is that we are indeed in a space of volatility. Uncertainty. Complexity and ambiguity. Our human brains are not so much a fan of those things.
[00:04:42] Managing Anxiety and Stress
[00:04:42] So if you find yourself feeling anxious, stressed,just know nothing has gone wrong. Your brain is working as it should.
[00:04:52] And your response. Is probably appropriate in light of everything that is going on. [00:05:00] But that does not mean that our writing stops. here is the really great thing about VUCA. VUCA is so much more than just an acronym. It is also a mental framework for helping us to understand. And win within the systems and communities in which we operate. Even when volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity are present.
[00:05:30] For writers like you and me, that means we keep on writing. We keep on creating. We use this time as fodder and as an opportunity to write and share our stories with the world even more. And here is how we do it. This is the framework and the path to manage in our minds and winning. Even during VUCA.
[00:05:51] Now, what I am advocating for in this episode is that you continue to write. That I continue to write that we all continue to write, even in [00:06:00] these times when we are feeling stressed and anxious, even when there is a lot of volatility, ambiguity, complexity, or uncertainty, all around us. We are doing all of this, all of this managing of our brain so that we can keep on writing, but honestly, This pathway that I'm going to give you is helpful in any context, whether you're a writer or not, these are good things to do. Even if writing isn't your thing.
[00:06:25] So if you have a friend or a loved one who is struggling with these VUCA times, don't hesitate to share this episode with them. Ultimately, I'm going to show you how to use. All of this to keep writing, but the principles and tools I am teaching you here today. Are really applicable to so many situations.
[00:06:46] Here's the pathway. This is what you want to do right now. If you want to keep on writing. Even amidst all the chaos.
[00:06:53] Actionable Steps to Keep Writing
[00:06:53] Number one. First bring consciousness and awareness to what is [00:07:00] happening inside your brain. If you're listening to this episode, if you're a fan of my podcast, you certainly are probably already on the path to doing this right now because it's one of the things that I talk about, like all the time. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and experiencing, and why is the first step to dealing with it? It's important during this time to understand that your mind your brain is going to constantly try to shield you from facing VUCA.
[00:07:27] You aren't going to want to look at it. That's why you hear a lot of people right now. Talk about just like ignoring things, shutting off social media, shutting off the news. I know, I personally have gotten like really into a block blast game on my phone that one of my kids turned me on to it and I'm completely addicted.
[00:07:44] And I think it's just a little bit of escapism that I am seeking out right now. And so I know that part of the reason for that is because I don't want to deal with all the VUCA that's happening all around me. I see this showing up in my clients too. Right now [00:08:00] they want to hide. They want to go under the covers. They've stopped reading the news. They've stopped talking to people or certain groups of people they're considering moving. They're avoiding. They're hiding. Another way. I see folks dealing with the feelings of uncertainty and stress is by buffering or avoiding the feelings. This can show up in a lot of different ways over eating, over drinking overindulging in activities that don't really serve us or our writing, like maybe bingeing on Netflix or constantly doom scrolling on social media.
[00:08:29] Pretty much any kind of overing is often a signal that you're trying to avoid something else. recognize that if these responses. Are resonating with you in any way that it's likely just your brain's way of trying to deal with all the VUCA that is around you. If you're good with that. If you're okay with kind of avoiding things or if that's what you need to do right now to just sort of survive.
[00:08:51] Look, no worries. No judgment on my part. I'm not here to shame. Go forth and Netflix and binge my friends. But be aware of [00:09:00] what's happening. And your reason for doing it. And the impact that it is going to have on your writing. Which is probably going to result in you not writing very much. That is the first step becoming aware of what is going on. The next step. Is to be kind. to yourself
[00:09:22] To have your own. Back. If you find yourself in a space where you are feeling stressed. Or anxious. Then now more than ever is the time to double down and have your own back.
[00:09:36] Times of VUCA are an incredible opportunity to teach yourself that you will have your own back no matter what this is a big deal. Do not skip over this or gloss over it, or think that you don't have to prove to yourself that you don't have to have your own back. The idea here is not to ever beat yourself up. But to have your own back, you can do that first and foremost by being kind and gentle and even [00:10:00] sweet. To yourself. In other words in step one, we talked about being aware. And in step two, we're talking about what to do with that awareness.
[00:10:09] Not only do I want you to become aware of what is happening in your mind? I want you to bring gentleness and blameless discernment. To that awareness. This is not about beating ourselves up. Or being unkind to ourselves or judgemental for feeling worried and then eating a whole bag of M and M's. It's about loving on ourselves during this time. I tell a story to my coaching clients. All the time, about a time when I was managing an employee. Who was honestly. Kind of a difficult employee. But he had his reasons, right. I was very pregnant at the time and about to go out on leave. And he came to me and gave me some news that was particularly difficult right before I went out on maternity [00:11:00] leave. And I knew that this news was going to make my leave much more stressful than I had hoped.
[00:11:06] And so when he gave me that news, sitting on my desk was a bag of trail mix. And don't, you know, that in that next hour, I stress ate every single M and M out of that bag of trail mix. I could really beat myself up for doing that. And I could feel a lot of shame and embarrassment around it. Or. I can just acknowledge that. Yeah. That was a really hard news to get at that particular moment. And I can give myself my past self, a big hug and remind her. That she got through that time.
[00:11:40] And now she doesn't necessarily eat bags of MnMs when she gets tough news. Another way in which you can have your own back is to make sure that all your basic needs are being met. So sleep nutrition, hydration, movement. Those needs happen right now. And they should happen every day. Does that mean you need to go to the gym for an [00:12:00] hour every day?
[00:12:00] No, of course not. But it does mean we find a way to move and stretch our bodies, our beautiful vessels that propel us forward on this amazing planet. And we feed those vessels healthy food and give it water, not just coffee. But water also to drink.
[00:12:17] So we talked about step one. Awareness step two. What we're going to do with that awareness? We're going to love ourselves so hard. Now step three. Now we're going to get into the action. Here in this step, it is all about creating more mental space. So that you can keep on writing and creating what you want to create in this world.
[00:12:36] Remember step one was dealing with VOCA by raising our consciousness and awareness. Step two is about having our own back and taking care of ourselves.
[00:12:45] This is a step that takes us to the next level by preparing ourselves for further creation, for continuing to write and create in this world. Despite the chaos, this is how we move beyond anxiety and stress. To where we keep on creating. [00:13:00] Anyway, when your brain notices, VOCA, what it is not going to want to do. Is go out and create.
[00:13:06] Instead, what it's going to want to do is kind of shut down hide sound, the alarm bells, and plan for every single contingency that it can think of. That's not usually helpful for creators, for writers like you and me, because what we needed to be doing is writing. So we need to tame our brain. We need to manage our brain and we do that by utilizing mindfulness tools.
[00:13:28] My very favorite. Is a mini body awareness meditation that can help me dial in the anxiety and worry really quickly so that I can then create the space for what comes next. For me, what I do and what I recommend as a first step here. Regular mini body awareness meditations throughout the day. If you want to know what those are and how to do them, then I suggest listening to episode 28 of this podcast.
[00:13:54] It's a five minute long podcast where I guide you through one of these mini body awareness exercises. [00:14:00] So that's step three. Step four. Is where the magic really happens. My friends. I know you probably know about steps one through three already, and I've heard them lots of times. Let me caution you though. Do not skip them. You can not effectively do step four. Unless you've taken care of your basic needs. You can not effectively, write. Your brain is not going to let you sit down and write if it is mired in anxiety. You have to silence the alarm bells and the panic first.
[00:14:31] Transforming VUCA into Creative Fuel
[00:14:31] Once you do that, you're ready for step four, which is all about transformation here is where we take that Fuca and we use it to create the life and world. We really want to live in. Teach yourself that the way to deal with VUCA the volatility, the uncertainty, the complexity, and the ambiguity. Is to use it as a guiding star. The stress you are feeling. The anxiety and worry that you're feeling is ultimately an indicator of what you value. [00:15:00] This is a good thing.
[00:15:01] I know that in the moment it can be hard. Really hard. And. You are a smart. Resourceful creative, whole human being. You are not broken. You are amazing. And you are going to take this VUCA and you're going to flip it. And you're going to use it to make your world. And you're writing even better.
[00:15:28] Look at where the anxiety and stress is showing up for you. Ask it, what it is trying to guide you towards For me, this is showing up in this way. I'm worried about what the future will hold for my children. And what it will mean for their lives. I value safety, freedom, abundance, and stability for them. And at the end of the day, I know I have very little control over any of that. But what I do have control [00:16:00] over. Is what I do with them in this moment. So how today can I create for them? How today can I give them the world I want? For me, what I do is I try my best to show up and connect with them with each of them. I try to take time and space each day. To let them know.
[00:16:21] I love them. I spend time sitting on the couch with them. I do art. We play with toys. We read a book.
[00:16:29] For me, anxiety and stress can also show up as worrying about anger or hate that others seem to show and demonstrate. And I can't do much about that. Right. But I can show love and kindness to others, just like I do to myself. So I wave at the construction worker on the side of the road. And he waves back and y'a ll when he smiled this sweet, innocent smile.
[00:16:54] That just was so. Joyful and happy to have somebody wave at him. [00:17:00] It kind of brought me to tears in my car this morning. Maybe no one else smiled and waved at him this whole day. But he's out there in the cold doing his job. And I waved at him. And he waved and gave me a smile back. In a world where people are not generous with each other. I can show up with my value of radical generosity. In a world where cruelness gets likes and views on social media. I can show up with patience and kindness. Maybe I can't do much in the big scheme of things, but I can do that. And when I do that. The world seems a little less volatile, a little less chaotic and a little less stressful.
[00:17:40] In a world that feels angry and harsh, I can bring joy. So I'm doubling down on every single thing that I can think of. That brings me joy. In a world where chaos. Leaves me feeling lonely. And distrustful. I'm looking to make meaningful, real connections. With [00:18:00] other women who value what I value. And I'm not wasting time or energy on anybody else. Again, do you see how my VUCA is?
[00:18:09] My guide here? I feel uncertainty in some relationships. And so I'm creating and valuing and investing. In the relationships where I feel that certainty and trust. In a world that feels. Particularly volatile and uncertain. I miss magic. And so I am making a concerted effort to notice the magic and wonder around me every single day. Whether it's the beauty of a sunrise, the songs of the birds, the laughter of my little girl. Or a little serendipities that make me smile through the day. Each of them feels magical in its own way. And magic is a great antidote. To stress and anxiety.
[00:18:57] And in a world where I feel a lot of [00:19:00] uncertainty. I know that when I crave certainty. I can double down on my habits. And on my non-negotiables. When there's a lot of chaos in my clients' lives, I find that they often say they don't have time for writing or time for other things that bring them joy and happiness in their life.
[00:19:19] But what is really often happening is that they don't know where their time is. If that's you, then I have a free gift for you. It's totally free. It's a time audit workbook, a PDF that you can download from my website completely for free. Just head over to mom first coaching.com and go to free resources.
[00:19:36] It's mom, first coaching slash free. And what about writing? What can VOCA teach us about writing? How can we use volatility and uncertainty and complexity and ambiguity to transform our writing? In a world that's volatile. Writing can be consistent. Writing can be a rock each day, allow it to be, make it a habit to write each day for at least [00:20:00] 10 minutes in a world that is uncertain.
[00:20:02] You can allow your writing to thrive by embracing curiosity, instead of the fear that so often accompanies uncertainty. In a world that is complex, your writing doesn't have to be. This is what this step is all about. Actually simple values. And big transformation. And finally in a world that is ambiguous. One thing remains certain, you are a writer.
[00:20:28] So write, use the VUCA to double down on creating more of what you want and what you know, for sure. If you want more joy and magic in this world, then write about that. Create a world of magic in your story.
[00:20:43] Conclusion and Encouragement
[00:20:43] My friends. My dear writers, if you are in a time of stress or anxiety, or if the world feels too darn chaotic. Please know you are not alone. I have been there.
[00:20:54] We have all been there. Take a moment and breathe. This too shall pass. [00:21:00] Use this time to write more, not less. After you calm your mind. Use those feelings of stress and anxiety. To gently guide you. To what really matters the most in your life. And then write about that. Right consistently. Right with curiosity, not fear. This is not a complex issue.
[00:21:21] It is simple. Reduce the complexity to what really matters, what you value most. And then right with certainty about that. Right about what matters most to you, if love and magic and joy matter to you write about a world where that triumphs, if you want to create a world where your freedom and mind matters, write a book that creates more of that. The stress you are feeling can be your guide. Let it. All right writer.
[00:21:50] This is how we continue to write. Even when we're feeling stressed or anxious, even when the world feels chaotic or uncertain. Number one, we increase our [00:22:00] consciousness and awareness about what happens in our mind during times when we are feeling stressed, anxious, and uncertain. Rather than letting the chaos to rail our writing.
[00:22:09] We are going to understand what is happening in our mind so that we can continue to write. Number two, we have our own backs. We use blameless, discernment and gentleness and love, and we take care of ourselves. And our physical bodies, because if we don't do that, We aren't going to be able to write. Number three, we use mindfulness tools to create space for what matters in our life. We silence the noise. So that we can focus on the next step. Around transformation.
[00:22:39] I shared with you my favorite mindfulness tool, the body awareness meditation. And you can hear all about that. In episode 28, it only takes five minutes. Number four. We take VUCA. And we flip it on its head. We use the feelings and emotions that the chaos is bringing up for us as a guiding star. Towards [00:23:00] what matters in our lives. And then we use that to actually write more. It is really easy to do this fourth step at a very high level and leave it there.
[00:23:09] But I urge you to dive deep, write it out. What is your stress signaling to you? What is it that you value or crave instead? And what can you do to create more of that? And ask yourself then how can you apply it to your writing? Thank you for listening to mom writes first. I'm Jen. And I believe in you. In case no one has reminded you today.
[00:23:32] You are a resourceful, creative, whole human being. You are so capable. You are loved. Your ideas, your words, your stories matter. Now let's write.